i remember being a child. this long-haired, twiggy thing with delicious dreams of becoming a movie starlet or a princess. of course, you’re not entirely logical when you are that young. your head is in the clouds and the future is a million miles away. i think when the clouds begin to clear and you start to see the future there in the sky, you begin to grow up. life begins to sink in. you realise you are not beautiful or elegant enough to become a princess, and your eyes don’t sparkle enough to be a movie star. try again.even though my clouds cleared away sooner than anyone else i knew my age, i was still breathing them. only suddenly i knew who i was, or moreso, who i wanted to be. i was fourteen and i wrote in my diary “i am nirrimi and because of that, i’m going to live. really live.” and for me that meant throwing myself headfirst into photography and life. i didn’t attend school much, i spent days planning, learning to retouch and taking pictures. my studies suffered and my passion bloomed. it was “illogical and thoughtless” but i thought, why should i listen to a miserable, high school teacher about how to live my life? my grandparents lived by the alice river, on an enormous property with fruit trees and a treehouse by the water where you could watch cows gather at sunset. i remember sitting in the treehouse with a blank book, filling it with ideas for pictures. the passion welled up in me and i saw the world through picture-finding eyes. i miss the excitement now, which only greets me sometimes in memory. i discovered that came with my growing up, it became harder to feel. sure, some people get lucky, but we’re not going to wait around to see if that’s us. we need to make things happen for ourselves, because we are the only ones in control of our lives. with enough obsession and work any dream can come true for you. you will be disappointed, sleepless and somedays you will want to give up. but you will be happy, because you are living.

~   : Nirrimi Hakanson  (via clavicola)
06.05.11 /01:05/♥ 59
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Canvas  by  andbamnan